Author's Ink

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You Make My Heart Sing/Ass Twitch

Hi, how are you?  That's good.  I wrote a book.  You can buy it from AMAZON or BARNES & NOBLE (in paperback or as an e-book, holy crap!) by clicking on the picture below.  Or you can try the first three chapters for free here.

WHAT'S NEXT, HOLMES?!? 

I'm currently working on a sequel, called BJORN AGAIN, in which the Devil battles hordes of Scandinavians who, having grown tired of making safe cars and flat-pack furniture, return to their Viking roots of marauding and pillaging.

I WANT TO F'ING SUBSCRIBE TO SOMETHING, YO

I also have a blog with posts about pancake pants and movie reviews by Satan:  WHAT WOULD SATAN DO?  

Follow me on Facebook, bitches! I do giveaways, post weird stuff, and stuff.

Send me a message or complaint

Subscribe to my moribund Twitter Feed!

’ Mayonnaise is horrible, and can get you sent straight to Hell.

’  Bowling shoes, smoking jackets, tennis shoes... why not Pancake Pants?

• Why do folks "rent clothing" when they're pissed in the Bible?  

• Who wants to do some friggin' Biblical

MAD LIBS

 

 • Aqui tiene unos SHORT STORIES:

Uno!  Maricella 

Dos!  The U.S.S. Ronald Macaque

Tres!  Love with Connected Heads

  

 

 Below is a gargantuan photo of the jerk responsible for the foregoing shiz: